Autistic Communication #

In Part 1, I discussed the nature of occult grammars, and how they invisibly affect communication both in composition and interpretation of communication acts, as well as determining which things count as communication acts.

In Part 2, I discussed four fundamental rules of allistic occult grammar, approaching the subject based on observation as an outsider to allistic communication, who nevertheless must live within a predominantly allistic society.

In this part, I will attempt to do the same for autistic occult grammar. Please accept my apology for the following tedious disclaimers.

Tedious Disclaimers #

As someone who is autistic, I am perhaps least able to identify the grammar that is implicit and hidden in autistic communication. Nonetheless, these seem like a good start. Feedback on this subject is welcome, via any of the contact links at the top of this page.

The approach here is to examine the allistic occult grammar rules, and back into them via more or less symmetrical phrasings that highlight the reasons why those rules might strike an autistic person as strange.

Just to reiterate, these might seem obviously true to autistic people (or obviously false to allists!), perhaps even like something that doesn't need to be stated explicitly. That is precisely the point! Occult grammars appear to us as just "the way things are, the only way they can be", rather than a rule that has to be stated explicitly.

Again, no positive or negative judgement is intended in any of these descriptions. It may be that my own personal bias comes across, though I have endeavored to be as fair as possible. If it seems like one or the other set is getting more generous treatment, consider that it might simply be more natural to your neurotype.

Lastly, remember that autism is not a monolith, and neither is autistic culture. As the saying goes, "If you've meet one autistic person, you've met them." Since I am working from the disadvantage of closeness, as if a fish attempted to describe water, it's very possible that these occult grammar rules are further occluded by other cultural biases.

But enough disclaiming!

The Occult Grammar Rules #

1. Motivations are explicit.
2. Correct knowledge is everyone's responsibility.
3. Grammar is relevant.
4. Symbols carry their assigned meaning.

1. Motivations are explicit. #

The primary motivation of any utterances is explicit in the utterance itself. If someone says "When are we leaving for the party?" it's because they want to know when we are leaving for the party, not because they have a desire to leave sooner or later than otherwise would've happened if they hadn't asked.

This certainly does not preclude jokes, sarcasm, and other forms of linguistic play! In fact, many autists are hyperlexic and nearly constantly engage various forms of wordplay, and delight in oblique references and layered meanings. However, a pun or a joke is just what it is. The utterance in itself is not typically a tool to effect some other kind of communication outcome beyond the play that the autist is engaged in.

2. Correct knowledge is everyone's responsibility. #

It is everyone's shared responsibility to work together to notice, identify, and correct any mistakes. If it seems that one party has information that the other lacks, then the kind and polite thing to do is to share that information.

While some social status may be conferred by being the sort of person who readily shares information, that is not the motivation. It is simply the duty of information-havers to share the information that they have. No harm is done by sharing information. Correction is an act of care.

This can at times become a distraction from communication pragmatics. However, it is important in autistic communication to ensure that the correct words are being used to communicate the intended information, so that an even more distracting miscommunication can be avoided.

3. Grammar is relevant. #

The sentence "I am not going to set the car on fire" is not a threat. In fact, it is the opposite of a threat.

In addition to meaning being carried by "topic" words, like "car" and "fire", the other words in a sentence are just as important to interpreting the overall message, such as "not".

Not only do negations exist, they are always relevant, and fully negate or reverse the emotional valence of a statement. As bottom-up thinkers, we construct meaning based on the constituent parts of an utterance and the rules of their assembly; we do not start from vague high-level impressions and make assumptions about the parts.

4. Symbols carry their assigned meaning. #

All utterances are seen as moves in a largely arbitrary language game, where symbols (words, gestures, etc.) carry the meaning that they are assigned by the players in the game.

In many contexts, it is possible to redefine words, and this is often done as needed, especially when the conventional meaning of a word may be vague or imprecise. Autists will often pause a discussion to indicate something like "Ok, by this I mean, such and such, but if I'm referring to that, I'll use this other term instead." From that point on, whatever conventional definition the word might've meant, it acquires a more precise meaning local to the current conversation.

While some topics may carry near- or far-mode connotations, these will likely be different for each autistic speaker. As it's impossible to predict, it is reasonable for each participant to manage their reactions on their own.

Literal Thinking, Pedantic Vocabulary, and Infodumping #

If being correct is our shared responsibility as communicators, and if the grammar and tokens of a language act can be reliably assembled to convey a specific statement as unambiguously as possible, and we can usually pause and clarify or refine definitions as needed, then it's clear how the stereotypical "autistic" mode of communication arises.

It's good, actually, to interrupt a speaker to point out that they misspoke, or clarify specifically which sense of a word they mean. Just as it is good to be interrupted for this reason! It shows interest, which is an essential part of ensuring that information can be reliably and efficiently shared.

The autistic pattern of expounding at length on a topic of personal interest, aka infodumping, also arises from these occult grammar rules. If an autistic person knows a lot about a subject, then they have a social obligation to share that information.

In many autistic spaces online and in meatspace, these communication norms can emerge organically and result in very productive and pleasant interactions between autistic people (and allists who have learned to participate in the autistic mode of communication).

However, when viewed through the lens of allistic communication norms, these conversations can appear to be a relentless assault of posturing, dominance, combative interruption, nitpicking of minutiae, and a stubborn refusal to provide even the most basic human care for one another.

Coming Next #

In the final part of this series, I will discuss how the Double Empathy Problem arises from these differences in culture, and ways that these occult rules of message creation and interpretation can be overtly leveraged for better communication outcomes.

2025-11-17autismallismcommunciationoccult grammarthe quiet part out loudphilosophy